Conscious Coupling… with a New Job


Thanks to Oscar-winning actress, Gweneth Paltrow, A new lexicon has entered the dictionary “conscious uncoupling.”  This is the term she utilized to communicate to the world her decision to divorce from Coldplay singer, Chris Martin.  How very New Age of them!

While Gweneth’s terminology may sound a bit elevated for the more common expression used when terminating a marriage, there are lessons that can be learned from the mindfulness involved in this type of a phrase.  Say expanding the idea of “conscious uncoupling” to a search for a new job.  Then let’s turn this concept on its head and move to a similar but opposite term – “conscious coupling” with a job.

Elevated Careers is all about helping you – the job seeker – have the best new job experience of your lifetime! It is my position that this best arises with the consciously coupling to a new job.  What new understandings and insights about a job hunt can be gained by being self-aware and self-conscious through the process?  I concur – a whole lot!

George Santanya is oft quoted for saying “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  If I am not aware of my natural habit for choosing jobs and I am continually looking for a new ones because of bad experiences, those bad jobs won’t change.  To believe Santanya, this would be because my natural habit for choosing them is being repeated due to an unconscious “forgetting” of the past.   A person unconscious of the past is “condemned to repeat it” and so the vicious cycle of job hunting continues.

So can a person unconsciously couple with a job in the same manner that they do a new relationship? Of course this can happen! This may be a bit deep and personally jarring to become aware of, but if the natural course of choosing jobs is dysfunctional, it goes without saying that the path to coupling with a new position can be equally as damaging. When Gweneth and Chris Martin first met and decided to marry each other, each of their natural relationship dynamics told them it would last forever. It can be the same with a new job during the “honeymoon” period. With Gweneth and Chris, over time, with therapy and new realizations into unhealthy patterns and an inability to overcome them, the “conscious uncoupling” was initiated.

Stephen J. Betchen is a Clinical psychologist Stephen J. Betchen has a theory on magnetic partners which suggests what attracts us to a person ultimately pulls us apart. With the objective of helping you make a smart choice for your next job, here are Stephen’s 5 healthy relationship patterns, repurposed for job-hunting:

  1. Know Yourself.  Understand the type of job you like and what culture is the best fit for yourself. If every job you go to is a short jaunt, a deeper exploration into your personal preferences and how to choose wisely for your next job may be helpful. Elevated Careers can help you explore your values, personality, and personal competency for a future position.
  2. Ask Questions.  Once you know yourself – make sure to find out about the potential job culture and future co-workers by asking questions. Will you be successful based on your understanding of yourself and your comprehension of the new work environment?
  3. Pay attention to contradictions.  If a new job mentions they promote heavily within, but during the interview, few people you meet have been raised in rank, don’t overlook that.
  4. Assess how your potential job or boss treats you. There can be early signs that a job may not be a fit.  If during an interview a boss seems controlling or overbearing, this behavior will only increase when in the position.
  5. Don’t ignore your “gut.”  Be honest with yourself and go with your core feelings. Think deeply about the previous 4 points and open your eyes to the reality of your work situation.  Is where you are going better than where you have been or in understanding yourself more clearly, might an attitude adjustment be needed so you stay where you are and become happy?

All in all – conscious coupling with a new job will increase your level of satisfaction, position you for success in your next position, and lay the healthiest possible foundation for a fruitful and prosperous career.

Elevated Careers wants you to have the best career possible.  Take your Elevated assessment and find the fit that’s right for you today. 

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